The return of a Hero

The Andersen Fabulous Steel Company, which is famous for delivering the springs to the seats in the Metropolitan Opera in New York, have made a new brilliant deal to deliver steel springs to the Swedish army. The new springs are invented to keep the Swedish armed forces white flags flying even in a mild summer breeze witch earlier had been a problem that almost paralysed the armed forces capability to engage in war fighting. The mastermind behind the deal is no less than Edward Andersen. His contacts with King Oscar the second of Sweden has now grow deeper and hopefully Mr Andersen will be able to sell some of the products from Middleford Shoelace factory that been irritating the neighbourhood to the Swedish army as chemical weapons.  

King Oscar the second is pleased with the deal
that will give his army new courage

Mr Andersen on the train from Stockholm
after the deal has been signed

Unfortunately the deal with Germany failed since they saw no reason in using white flags. 

Middlefords new police officer

Mr Owerkil failed the rifel test

A new police officer in Middleford has been appointed. After a hard examination containing tests for intelligence, strength, bravery and ability to make strong coffee five young lads were found appropriate for the service. To separate these five from each other even harder tests were preformed. Skills with rifle, handgun and catapult were tested as well as the ability to help old ladies over the street without making a riot.

The last test were really difficult for the lads since no old lady would admit being old when asked about it, especially not if the question came from a young handsome man. Fortunately the rugby game was over and the test was changed to: Helping drunken unstable supporters get on the train. One lad Owen Stevenson completed this test with brilliance. He got everybody on the train including the other competitors and judges by shouting “Free drinks in third class”. He then closed the doors and signed for the engine driver pull out. This was the first time the Sunday train left on time after a rugby game.

Mr Owen Stevenson is now the new police officer in Middleford but first he have to learn how to read and write. Unfortunately nobody thought about testing that before he was employed. But as Mayor Flint said “A solid performance could hide an ocean containing lack of knowledge”. 

A plan is nothing planning is everything

In Middleford the Railway is slowly making progress. The inhabitants are quite tired of having to wait for the train at a station without tracks. Mr Templot have done a lot of effort to make the ride as smooth as possible but facing the challenge to combine passenger traffic with goods traffic is almost to much for him. Especially the odour from the wagons that Middleford Shoelace factory is using. Tons of used shoestrings are sent to the factory to be recycled to new strings. Well that’s what the inhabitants think but nobody has seen the inside of the wagons. The mysteries surrounding the Middleford Shoelace factory is getting darker and more .

The transport of goods from and to Stoffton Brewery takes a lot of shunting and it’s a duty that engine drivers fights about to do since they get bribed paid in ale and beer. Stoffton Brewery is enormously famous for its strong ale and malt master Charles Hickory whom drowned in one of the brewery tanks. That’s why the Stoffton Ale has a significant taste of tweed witch is asked for among ale connoisseurs all over Middleford. After the tragic death of their malt master Stoffton Brewery decided to employ a new malt master from the Hickory dynasty, Charles less intellectual brother Dave Hickory, and to give the workforce cotton clothing.

Right- or left hand traffic?

The office for planning and building railways in Middelford announced that the track plan for Middleford is finshed. The project will cost a lot and the project manager is not quite sure how long it will take to complete the task or how much labour it will take. But one thing is clear: No one will be responsible for failures, economic disasters or if the railway will effect the milk production on Swivelness farm. One thing is unresolved and that is if there should be left-hand or right-hand traffic on the single track. 

Ability to lay track Zero, ability to make big plans One

A lot of springs to be installed

As always the story goes beyond the building part. Life in Middleford is quite ruff now days, No railway even though Mayor Flint promised in the latest elections that this would be done. Well its time to put our act together and start out with the station. Middleford station is a small station with plenty of goods coming in to be delivered to Stoffton Brewery and Macwall distillery. The farms produces meat and wool and the Middleford shoelace factory together with Andersen Fabulous Steel Springs have some gods both arriving and leaving the plants. Andersen Fabulous Steel Springs are famous for delivering steel springs to the seats at the Metropolitan Opera in New York 1883. The Middleford Shoelace factory is famous for not being famous. Discretion is their trademark. They are so discreet that nobody, except the workers, knows about the factory well at least a majority of the workers know about it. Some still thinks they are unemployed with pay.

On the passenger side it’s mainly the morning- and afternoon trains that are crowded on weekdays. But on Saturdays the supporters of Middleford RC fills the train to se the game. Unfortunately there are less people leaving the games in time to catch the train back due to problems to let go of the handlebars at the bleachers.

Well back to Mr Templot to start working. Maybe God makes a siding today. 

Law and order in Middleford!

Well given Macwall distillery and Stoffton Brewery Middleford really needs a police force. There have been a lot of truble outside the Black Swan and Mrs George has been complaining about nightly disturbance. Even the local rugby team, Middleford RC, are having a difficult time keeping the supporters standing during a whole match. Even though they invested some money in handlebars to hold on to when the world starts spinning to fast. Unfortunately this only increased the problems since supporters would not leave the bleachers because they were afraid of falling down. The only organisation that has not been affected by this “problem” is the church quire but on the other hand nobody comes to church on Sundays, at least not before noon and absolutely not before they are able to let go of the handlebars at the Middleford RC.

But who will be able to face the challenge to be a police officer under these circumstances. The butcher’s sons are quite well built and are famous for their ability to take initiative as well for their lack of judgement. Well in this matter we must not hurry, there are many good boys out there in Middleford just waiting for the opportunity to become a policeman. We just have to find one that full fills the qualifications, legality, strength and ability to make strong coffee.

The transport sector is now growing and a brand new loading stage have to be built together with a new signal box and a coaling stage. There are plenty of work to be done and miracles only works on Tuesdays or when ever God feels for working on the layout.

And there was a distillery!

This is my blog called “The art of being God”. Since I’m creating a small world inhabited by small people in 4 mm scale I have to be their God. So far they got a brewery, Stoffton Brewery, and a town called Middleford. A town in England or if its in Scotland perhaps in Cornwall or if its in Wales. You figure it out. But all the names, locations and happenings are my own fantasies so don’t be offended (also the bad spelling).  The year is 1894.

On the seventh day God decided to create another big business in Middleford. Glenwall malt distillery. To much joy for the villagers one could say. Purely single malt is produced and the business is blooming thanks to two in-house brands: Glenwall 25 years and MacEcner 18 years. MacEcner is the smoother one of the two and is more or less classified as the ladies whiskey down at the Black Swan. Glenwall is the rougher one and is well known for making men out of boys and keeping the hands of doctor Igor Mortis disinfected. The rumour has it that the malt master Dexter Glower only works on the Glenwall single malt on rainy days when the temperature is below zero, inside the distillery. The biggest secret is that the whiskey is aged in a butts imported from a calvadose distillery in France. But to prevent this secret to come public the butts are marked “salt herring from Iceland”. The roumor has it that Glennfiddich some other distillery tried to use Butts from Iceland but with a catastrophic reslut

The Glenwall is delivered in a square bottle witch prevents the bottle rolling away from the owner while he is lying down on the ground. The inventor of the shape was the former mayor in Middleford, sir Archibald who during a meeting 1823 by mistake dropped his bottle witch in its turn rolled over to the opposition leader Andrew Mclochland. To prevent this form happening again he invented the square bottle.

Now it is time to go back to the program Templot to make another shunting yard for the distillery. Perhaps Stoffton Brewery will gain from this and their famous tweed tasting beer will be exported.

Om konsten att lägga räls!

Det finns de som påstår att måttet på spårvidden på en modern järnväg beror på romarna och bredden på deras hästars bakdelar. Den vedertagna standarden på  spårvidd är 1435 mm eller 4 fot och 8,5 tum. Ett väldigt jämt och lätträknat mått. Hur blev det så? och varför tog man inte ett jämt tal? Jo det beror helt och hållet på att de som först byggde järnvägsvagnar hade axlar från de hästdragna vagnar som de byggde. Då man ville att alla vagnar skulle gå i samma hjulspår för att inte förstöra hjulen höll man sig till den standard som de som byggde vägarna, romarriket, hade. Rom hade nämligen byggt sina vägar efter bredden på en vagn som fick plats bakom två hästar. Så när du nu känner att det är lite trångt på tåget så vet du att det helt och hållet beror på romarriket och två taniga hästars bakdelar. Engelsmännen var först ut med denna standard redan 1845. Inte standarden på hästarnas bakar utan spårvidden. Rörigt? Vänta bara!

Spårvidd på franska
Spårvidden är  innermåttet
Bild från Wikipedia 

Naturligtvis finns det undantag från denna regel. Rysslands spårvidd är bredare med sina 1520 mm men det beror på ett gammalt felaktigt industrispionage skulle jag tro. Naturligtvis är Ryssland av hävd en spionerande nation. Ryssarna skickade över en mästerspion till England då man hört att de körde vagnar på järnräls. Mästerspionen mätte upp yttermåttet på spårvidden och skickade hem uppgiften att det var 5 fot brett. Tyvärr angav han inte att detta var yttermåttet utan felaktigt började man bygga en järnväg med 5 fots spårvidd mätt som innermått. Då vet vi hur det ligger till med detta, eller så är det bara fantasier. Men onekligen spännande med ryska spioner.

Själv lägger jag räls med hjälp av programmet Templot det blir både snyggt och enkelt. Allt får byggas för hand men i skala 00 är räls inte särskilt tungt. Det blir riktigt snyggt och skalenligt då jag kommer att lägga så kallad Bullhead räls som används i Storbritannien i stället för flat-bottom som i har i Sverige.

I Middleford är det annars mycket lugnt, inget av värde finns att rapportera förutom att personal från det ryska konsulatet är ute och provmäter räls i smyg. Detta då man fått order hemifrån att vagnarna man beställt inte passar den ryska stambanan. Har man mätt fel? Det var den förre konsuln som skickade det första måtten till Ryssland efter ett långt besök på puben "The Black Swan" där det goda tweedsmakande ölet från Stoffton Brewery inmundigades i allt för stor mängd.