söndag 3 juli 2011

The Fox Hunt!

As a tradition Sir Randal has invited the nobles of Middleford to Swivelness farm to participate in the yearly fox hunt. In this case the nobles of Middelford contains, among others, Mr Incognito because nobody really knows who he is but appears to be important, Mayor Flint because everybody knows who he is and the Russian Chargé d’affaires because he represents the diplomats in Middelford. Needless to say, Mr Incognito activated Mr C to blend in among the others in the hunting team.
Mr Incognito with Herbert

The hunt it self started out quite splendid, if you were a fox. Firstly the beagles seamed to fancy the smell from the kitchen before they went of for the real hunt. Unfortunately the information from the Russian foreign ministry to the Chargé D’affaires regarding the fox hunt was wrong. The Chargé D’affaires dashed of on his new horse stressing the Beagles to their maximum speed and still losing. 30 of the 32 dogs fainted before they reached the first fence.

The Russian Chargé D'affaires was misinformed and failed the dress code
To save the situation Sir Randal persuaded the Middleford Rugby Club to help him in scaring out at least something that could be shot. After three long hours with out a single fox to be found the forward John Daglish got a plan of how to end the misery with the hunt. He ran over to the Farm and “borrowed” Mrs Randals fox scarf from last years hunt. The idea was as simple as it was brilliant. On the way out to the pastures he also borrowed a hog from the pig stable. With some work the hog was all dressed and ready and was chased out in the open. Sir Randal was a bit surprised over the sound from the fox and that it was a bit fat. But to be a good sport he gave the shot to the Chargé D’affairs who not only missed the “fox” but also by accident hit John Daglish in the rear. The Rugby team turned as one man and ran after the Chargé D’affairs over the fields back to the consulate.

DI Stevenson is having some problems. Reports regarding a big fat fox ruining gardens in Middelford have started to drop in. Some stating that the fox not only ruins the gardens but also makes a terrifying scream. Some people says its an omen that the world is coming to an end. The Chargé D’affaires, in his turn, is having problems explaining to the Russian Foreign Ministry why he cant leave the consulate.

torsdag 19 maj 2011

A New Consulate


Mayor Flint is glad to announce that Russia has decided to open a new Consulate in Middleford. The grand opening will be held in a short while but first they had to find a building for the consulate. After a couple of days the Russian Consulate was opened in a building next to the Middleford Shoelace factory.

This in its turn gave Mr Incognito a headache and after pulling a few strings he asked Mayor Flint to act in the interest of Middleford. Since Police officer Stevensen famously lacks the skill of reading, is colour blind and have a bad judgement he was promoted by Mayor Flint to become detective inspector. In this position he will not be able to do any harm since there hardly are any crime in Middleford to investigate and his contact with the public is narrowed down to a minimum. Especially since the new Russian diplomats found officer Stevensen a bit annoying trying to understand were the town Russia were.

The new lad to replace DI Stevensens is no less than Gregor Stue from Witless. Every morning he rides his Penny-farthing to work and the high position on the boneshaker gives him a splendid view over the landscape and the area he is guarding. Or as he use to say “ No crime to small no boneshaker to high!” This in its turn gave Mayor Flint a bit of worries since he did not want any crime for DI Stevensen to investigate.
Gregor Stue before he became Mr C

On one of officer Stues patrols Mr Incognito stopped him and asked if he could help Middleford Shoelace factory with some intricate matters. The rumours had it that the Russian consulate was trying to get information from The Andersen Fabulous Steel Spring factory. Officer Stue was glad that he could help Mr Incognito and accepted the task. Mr Stue is now walking around in Middleford in a big coat and a hat. The new Russian consulate is being under surveillance by the Middleford Shoelace factory.  If Stue was to contact Mr Incognito he should use his new code name “C”. 

onsdag 30 mars 2011

Preparing for the Olympic Games



In Middleford as in many other villages in England there is a sports club that gives young people the ability to participate in sport activities. In Middleford Sir Bridge and Miss Little manage the sports club.  Miss Little is quite good in fencing and use to practice with the other ladies at the club. This would have been unthinkable some time a go but since Sir Bridge has a crush on Miss Little he allows the ladies to participate in the club.

One day Sir Bridge decided to start practicing for the new event in Athen 1896 called the Olympic Games. His goal was to qualify to the masters foil and hopefully win the event. To impress on Miss Little he challenges her in a match on the masters foil. After the match that Miss Little won by 10 – 1, giving one point to Sir Bridge as good sportsmanship, Sir Bridge proposed to Miss Little since he figured out that if he could not win in the masters foil he could win her hart. The wedding is planed after the games in Athen.

Miss Little with the heart that Sir Bridge won

Mr Gordon Peter who won “The Longest of Races” will participate in the bicycle race in Athen but needs a service team to help him during the race. Dave Hickory has volunteered for the task but needless to say Gordon turned him down but mentioned at the same time that France needed a good service man. 

onsdag 23 mars 2011

The Great Race

The Middleford Bicycle Club held their annual bicycle race called “The Middleford Tour Championship”. The president of the club, Mr Stowe, is very pleased to show a strong starting line for Mayor Flint who is given the great privilege to give the start signal to the competitors. The favourite to the victory for the bookmakers is Mr Jeff Barns cycling for the Black Swan Team, he gives 0.7 back on each pound sterling.

The french bikes with air filled tubes
The examination of the competitors by doctor Igor Mortis before start gave nothing to worry about for the team managers. The Andersen Fabulous Steel Spring Team uses the new bikes produced in France with tubes filled with air while The Black Swan Team and others uses penny-farthings with extra big wheels.

The race was of and first to Witless was young Gregor Stue racing for The Witless Dragons Team chased by Mr Jeff Barnes for The Black Swan Team both racing on Penny-farthings. The Andersen Fabulous Steel Spring Team were having a lot of difficulties since the tubes on their bikes tended to have flat tyres and were more or less out of the race. Two accidents occurred but it was nothing Dr Igor Mortis couldn’t manage to great relief for the president of the club and the undertaker.
Gordon Peter before the
water stop

On the way back to Middleford from Witless malt master Dave Hickory at the water stop made an unfortunate mistake. All the teams got raw spirit from the Macwall distillery instead of water in their bottles. Needless to say the teams had a hard time making it back on their bikes. But Gordon Peter from the Witless Dragons Team managed to make it across the finishing line first. The race was later called “The Longest of Races” since the last one to cross the finishing line did it three days later or to be more correct Mr Jeff Barnes was missing for three days until someone found him singing in a ditch half way to London.

onsdag 9 mars 2011

The end of the line!


Mayor Flint is in deep problems. By telegraph he has found out that the foreign secretary The Earl of Kimberley is on his way to Middleford. The Earl is not pleased with the action taken by the Middleford Shoelace Factory in a small North African town last week. The story has it that workers from the factory arrived at night in small vessels from Italy to sell, as they said, shoelaces. But unfortunately the Osman Empire army arrested them and accused them for belonging to the organisation Shoestring Associated Salesmen (SAS).

Mr Incognito
playing croquet
The Earl of Kimberly is not
pleased with the situation
Mayor Flint has no idea what is going on in the Middleford Shoelace Factory and even worse, he has no clue what the code Mi6 stands for that’s written on some of the wagons that arrives to the factory. In his contacts with the factory manager Mr Incognito the only enlightenment he got was that the factory is number six in the Middleford Shoestring Factory complex in Brittan and that’s why they mark the wagons Mi6 for Middleford six. Mayor Flint is not convinced.

Even worse Police officer Stevensen said that he would investigate the matter. Right now he is working as a signal man at the Middleford Railway but besides the fact that he cant read he is also colour blind witch creates some problems since he can’t tell the different between a red handle and a green handle in the lever frame.

This colour blindness gave Mayor Flint some time to catch his breath when Mr Stevenson used the wrong handle in the signal box and switched the train that the foreign secretary used to Witless junction the end of the Middleford Railways.

onsdag 2 mars 2011

The King is arrested


To implement law and order in Middlefords more obscure areas Police officer Owen Stevenson is patrolling the areas close to the railway station and the park Kings Garden. The reason for this is the worry that younger women feel when they walk in these areas on their way to and from the station. Some people call the area: “The slum of Middleford” or “The disgrace of Middleford”. Mr Stevenson has so far been successful in his bravery to fight crime and Mr Jenkins dog that use to scare people. 

Unfortunately Mr Stevensons ability to read is, as we all know, poor and his ability to understand art and culture is even poorer. So if Mr Stevenson had been able read the Middleford Journal he would be aware that a theatrical company would perform in the Kings Garden. If he then had been a bit cultural he would have noticed that it was the Famous History of the life of King Henry the Eight by Shakespeare this time portrayed in the 18th century. Sadly for the actors Mr Stevenson did not recognize this and acted instantly on the scene where a woman was to be beheaded with a big axe. This was probably the only time Anne Boleyn was saved and the King arrested.
Middleford Theatrical Company having a tea break before the catastrophic event occurred. Sam Niel on the right is now in custody for attempted murder.

The Middleford Theatrical Company is now looking for a new actor who, on a short notice, can play the leading role as King Henry the eight.

onsdag 23 februari 2011

The return of a Hero



The Andersen Fabulous Steel Company, which is famous for delivering the springs to the seats in the Metropolitan Opera in New York, have made a new brilliant deal to deliver steel springs to the Swedish army. The new springs are invented to keep the Swedish armed forces white flags flying even in a mild summer breeze witch earlier had been a problem that almost paralysed the armed forces capability to engage in war fighting. The mastermind behind the deal is no less than Edward Andersen. His contacts with King Oscar the second of Sweden has now grow deeper and hopefully Mr Andersen will be able to sell some of the products from Middleford Shoelace factory that been irritating the neighbourhood to the Swedish army as chemical weapons.  

King Oscar the second is pleased with the deal
that will give his army new courage
Mr Andersen on the train from Stockholm
after the deal has been signed

Unfortunately the deal with Germany failed since they saw no reason in using white flags.